By Daniel Butler
This hysterical selection of tales of tangible crimes devoted by means of clumsy crooks and fumbling felons can have you guffawing out loud at painfully dumb makes an attempt at crime. Illustrated.
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Extra resources for America's Dumbest Criminals
He was much faster than Juliet and he easily caught her in the small kitchen, but he couldn’t get the turtle to bite her. The incident marked the definite end of one relationship, but the beginning of another. Juliet thought the big turtle was cute, and she was ever so grateful that he hadn’t bitten her. The girl and the turtle are still together and living happily in Pennsylvania, according to the policeman who retold the story. 23 Luck of the Draw With Oregon State Lottery ticket in hand, Alice Krumm stood staring at the winning numbers posted on the cash register.
Well, no . . not really,” the man stammered. ” “Well . . nothing, uh . . I . . oh, never mind,” the man said. ” The officers turned and left as the man quietly closed the door, no doubt to sink into a chair and utter some expletives. “We just left,” Watson says. “Without the dope, we really had no case against the man. But we had a good laugh on the guy. ” 2 The World’s Shortest Trial Officer David Hunter, retired from the Knox County (Tennessee) Sheriff’s Department, told us this story of what might be the shortest trial in the history of jurisprudence: At his criminal arraignment, the defendant stood before the judge.
In a rage, Romeo returned and chased his ex-girlfriend around the kitchen with a large snapping turtle. He was much faster than Juliet and he easily caught her in the small kitchen, but he couldn’t get the turtle to bite her. Finally, Juliet managed to call the police. ) the irate lover, and arrested him for assault with a reptile. He was much faster than Juliet and he easily caught her in the small kitchen, but he couldn’t get the turtle to bite her. The incident marked the definite end of one relationship, but the beginning of another.