By Maurice Howe
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Extra info for Developing Helping Skills
R Relax. Show the other that you are comfortable and fully available to hear what he or she has to say. qxd 10/1/06 10:37 AM Page 26 Developing helping skills I invite you to check the validity of this set of behaviours by reflecting on your own experience. Try to recall a situation in your own life when you were worried about something or had an important decision to make and you talked to someone else about it. Was the person helpful? How did they achieve this? What did they do? Or, if the person was not helpful, what did they do that prevented the outcome from being positive?
5 Interview another person under conditions where feedback can be provided either by a third person or through a recording. Focus on identifying and responding to feeling. The person being interviewed can either choose a personal concern or can be asked to remember a time when something occurred that they felt strongly about (and preferably, where something of that feeling remained). Identifying and responding to feelings To summarise where we have been going, the basic steps in the program of identifying and responding to feeling are: 1 identification of expressed feeling 2 crystallising this in a word or two 3 identification of content associated with the feeling 4 summarising this in a brief paraphrase 5 phrasing a response that links feeling and content.
I don’t quite follow. ’ Sometimes an acknowledgement of what you are seeing or hearing seems called for. Such an acknowledgement can be coupled with a question. For example: ‘I can see that you are upset. ’ ‘I’m getting a feeling that . . ’ ‘You seem to feel very strongly about . . ’ And then too, you may wish to express something of your own puzzlement: ‘I understand that part about . . but can you elaborate on . ’ ‘What did you mean when you said . .? ’ ‘How does . . relate to what you said about .