By Turney, Benjamin; Harrison, Richard; Blundell, Adrian
ISBN-10: 0585493065
ISBN-13: 9780585493060
ISBN-10: 0727917390
ISBN-13: 9780727917393
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If their mother, father or a sibling has committed suicide, children are often given incorrect information or are not told the whole truth. These situations are a test of our ability to tell the truth. Children can be given the explanation that HELPING CHILDREN WHO SUFFER LOSS 9 41 sometimes grown ups get an illness in their mind that makes them not want to live any more. ’ It may seem brutal telling this to a preschool child, but if you can manage to be open right from the start, a sense of trust will be established which will be important in later childhood and adolescence.
This should be done in a calm, concrete and direct way. As many children invent their own concepts of cause and chain of events, it is important to listen to the questions children ask and the discussions they have, so that any misconceptions can be explained and fantasies can be reduced. If the children have taken part in the funeral, this could well be the theme for play and drawing for a while, as children process events naturally in this way. ’ It is often necessary to talk about what has happened for a long time afterwards.
She also thought about how he would have helped her with her homework when she started school, and he wouldn’t be able to do that either. There may be many things in children’s everyday life that remind them about the person who is no longer there. These reminders can, with no warning, suddenly fill them with sadness and they may cry without always knowing why. Adults can help children to put words to this sense of loss and can comfort them when they are very upset. If the death or loss happened suddenly, unexpectedly or in a particularly traumatic way, the event can potentially influence different aspects of the child’s development.